When do I get crazy-assed bikini models with sexual addiction issues lurking in the bushes? I think I could handle that. Instead, I get this tripe.

Hilarious mailing list exchange in which John C. Welch, who suffers no fools, goes from being helper to stalker in just four moves. Keep reading into the comments to see the inevitable appearance of a lawyer-wannabe (and his subsequent about-face). A must read.